The Infinite Staircase

The moment I stepped in I closed my eyes tight to avoid the blinding white lights. Like when a deer jumps into the road and it faces a car with its headlights in full blast. The only difference, I closed my eyes and didn't get hit. Anyway, I think I stood there with my eyes shut for five or so minutes. Then after a few blinks I got used to the light and started to see where I had stepped into. It wasn't much of a room. It was rather a place with a whole lot of pure white staircases leading to absolutely nowhere. I looked up to see where the staircase ended but it seemed as though it went on and on immensely high up. I got curious. What's up there. So I started climbing up those stairs without thinking about any possible dangers that lay ahead. I noticed the silence. This utter thick silence and the whole white-ness kind of freaked me out. But the worst thing was these stairs kept going on and on. These stairs were infinite! I thought of giving up and going back down again but as soon as I looked down, I immediately changed my mind. I was at a mighty hight now plus I'd have a hell more hard time going back down those stairs. So I kept climbing. Think of it, it was extremely boring. Just climbing those stairs all by myself without meeting any living thing whatsoever, not even a single flower. Without any wow factor that would have put a spice more excitement to this climbing of the infinite staircase, I kept on going. Are you getting bored reading this? I just keep mentioning climbing but how sad, that's the only thing I was doing. Then, just so suddenly I felt some existence. Yeah, a living thing coexisting in this space of infinite stairs. Immediately I looked back but all I could see was the stairs leading deep down to where I came from. What the hell. Maybe I was just imagining stuff. Just one of those habits, my imagining habits. Back home, this habit was diagnosed as an illness and I was actually taking pills for that. Ridiculous but true. "Get a grip of reality" mint colored pills. But guess what, I wasn't imagining, and I was sure of that. Out of nowhere something stood right in front of me. It scared me shitless. I screamed and toppled some stairs. Fortunately no blood or bruises. I stood up again brushed off the white dust from me and looked up to check this thing that just stood there out of thin air. The thing that scared me a few secs ago was beautiful and I suddenly felt quite embarassed for making such a racket of nothing but it didn't seem to care. Actually I couldn't call it a "it" for he was just someone like me with a set of eyes, a nose and a mouth. He had big black eyes with beautiful lashes. His hair was untidy just falling down to his lips and the untidiness added up to his beauty. I guessed he wouldn't look as beautiful if he had short stubby hair sticking out from his head like the ones I knew back home. He was normal tall. While I was observing him from top to bottom he just stood there boring his big black shiny eyes into mine. It was quite freaky but all the while heart flattering.

I wanted to call out but the words just scrambled to a plop in my mouth and the syllables one by one seeped down my throught into every blood cell and scattered all over my body. After all the brave stuff I had done, I wasn't brave enough to call out. How simple was that. I realized how lame, weak and unconfident I was. I just stood there watching his luminent figure walking on ahead. At first, I felt I had been tested. I had been tested by those people in charge. They probably just wanted to make sure how weak hearted I was. But, now as I come to think of it, it's just one of those moments you experience. It goes flying ahead without you being able to control it. You flow along with the time and you realize the situation as a short moment of your life. Before you can try to get hold of it and control it, it's gone way ahead of you out of reach. I guess it wouldn't have made any difference if I'd called out. Even if I did call out, out of bravery there probably would have been another situation even worse that required a much bigger bravery which I wouldn't have been able to cope with. Everything's the ways it's meant to be. You just have to thank yourself that you actually had a chance which no other person would ever experience. The only unique experience that the only distinct you will ever experience. But full of regrets. But yet again the regrets that will eventually fade with the flow of time. I lay down on the icy white ground. I couldn't be bothered to climb up those stairs anymore. Then I closed my eyes.